When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
