We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
