so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
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