I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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