He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
