Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
im calling her cock vulture from now on
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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