mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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