Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
