I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
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Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.