Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning

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(709): I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning http://tfl.nu/z1rc

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(250): View more from British Columbia

He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."

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(250): He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that." http://tfl.nu/vmd9

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.

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(704): I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food. http://tfl.nu/cwmk

Replies (49) Good night (584) Bad night (6876) Order T-Shirt
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(716): View more from New York

My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics

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(716): My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics http://tfl.nu/wc24

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(716): View more from New York

You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70

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(716): You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70 http://tfl.nu/w9g2

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(803): View more from South Carolina

For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.

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(803): For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early. http://tfl.nu/j6ta

Replies (3) Good night (1257) Bad night (1738) Order T-Shirt
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(432): View more from Texas

There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!

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(432): There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses! http://tfl.nu/cuv6

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(206): View more from Washington

She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.

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(206): She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America. http://tfl.nu/8yw3

Replies (8) Good night (2006) Bad night (697) Order T-Shirt
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.

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(580): He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages. http://tfl.nu/hdcq

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(248): View more from Michigan

Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face

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(248): Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face http://tfl.nu/s7dy

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.

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(860): Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now. http://tfl.nu/0rnz

Replies (4) Good night (2610) Bad night (444)
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(650): View more from California

My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.

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(650): My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me. http://tfl.nu/zst4

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(803): View more from South Carolina

We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.

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(803): We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep. http://tfl.nu/8q5m

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(334): View more from Alabama

Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.

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(334): Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots. http://tfl.nu/hhuz

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.

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(402): I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that. http://tfl.nu/01r4

Replies (11) Good night (518) Bad night (257)

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