I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
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I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
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FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.