he was CRYING into my vagina
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize