you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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