then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
