You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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