go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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