I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
