Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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