Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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