how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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