I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
