Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
