How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
