My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
