i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
