Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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