ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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