That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
