My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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