Swine flu. Run for my life!
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
