My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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