Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
