taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
