Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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