Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
