The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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