my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
