the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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