So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
