Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
