Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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