Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
