Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
