you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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