I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
