John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
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