we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
