I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
