she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
