would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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