quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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