I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
