pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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