every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
