I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
