If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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