After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
