Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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