Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
